why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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