Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
