She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
