i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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