but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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