The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
