i need an iv and a liver transplant
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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