so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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