Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize