And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
