did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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