Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
