i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
