YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I want to fling myself into the sun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
