your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
