to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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