Sponge bath it is.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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