You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
