Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
