So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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