i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
