I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
