There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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