i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
