I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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