Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
