are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
