yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
