I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
