so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Even my vagina gasped.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
