I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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