I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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