I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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