you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
