At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
