you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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