i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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