if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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