I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
