I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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