I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
