We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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