you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
