lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
