He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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