So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
