Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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