It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
