Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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