You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
