The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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