Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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