I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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