Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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