Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
