so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
