The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
